Stretch Marks, Identity and Purpose in Motherhood w/ Abbie Halberstadt
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On today’s episode…
Can motherhood stretch you and strengthen you? In this inspiring episode, bestselling author Abbie Halberstadt joins Dr. Kelly Cagle to talk about identity, purpose, and the soul-level “stretch marks” we carry as moms. From overcoming the fear of losing yourself to embracing God’s vision for motherhood, Abbie shares wisdom and grace for every season.
Insights
Stretch Marks, Identity, and Purpose in Motherhood
Guest: Abbie Halberstadt, author of You Bet Your Stretch Marks
In this powerful and grace-filled episode of the Parenting IQ Podcast, Dr. Kelly Cagle sits down with M Is for Mamaauthor Abbie Halberstadt to unpack how motherhood deeply shapes our identity, purpose, and worth—not just physically but spiritually and emotionally. Through humor, honesty, and biblical truth, Abbie helps us reframe the stretching of motherhood as something beautiful rather than burdensome.
What Are “Stretch Marks” Really?
Abbie’s latest book, You Bet Your Stretch Marks, isn’t just about the physical reminders of pregnancy. It’s about the soul-level stretching that motherhood demands of all women—whether you’re a biological mom, foster mom, adoptive parent, or caregiver. These “marks” are sacred signs of transformation, self-sacrifice, and spiritual growth. You may not see them on the skin, but you feel them in your soul—and Abbie makes the case that they are worth it.
“Parenting stretches and grows and pushes us out of our comfort zone so much... even if you don’t have physical marks, I guarantee you there are stretch marks on your soul.” —Abbie Halberstadt
Identity: Lost or Found in Motherhood?
One of the most compelling parts of the conversation tackles the myth that motherhood derails a woman’s purpose. Instead, Abbie boldly proclaims that losing yourself in motherhood is exactly what leads to finding true identity—in Christ.
“He who loses his life for My sake will find it... If you’re afraid motherhood will steal your identity, then you’re finding your identity in the wrong place.” —Abbie Halberstadt
In a culture obsessed with individuality and self-fulfillment, this message is a freeing counter-narrative. Your identity is not in your job title, social media metrics, or what you accomplish outside your home—it’s in being a faithful steward of the life God has entrusted to you.
The Myth of the “Wasted Mother”
Abbie calls out the harmful cultural messaging that says spending your life on your children is a waste. She reminds us that home is the first mission field, and the time we invest in our kids is not time lost—but time multiplied in the Kingdom.
She even touches on the disturbing trend online of moms jokingly “harming” themselves to represent how miserable they are around their kids. Abbie offers a refreshing and sobering reminder: this is a privilege, not a punishment.
“There’s a strong push in culture to say that your efforts in the home don’t weigh much... but that is a myth. You are not wasting your life.”
Practical Encouragement for the Stretched-Too-Thin Mom
Abbie gets real about the hard seasons—homeschooling 10 kids, juggling writing, fitness coaching, and more. But her journey as a “late bloomer” writer is a testimony to God’s timing. For years, she dreamed of writing books but waited patiently for the Lord to open doors. And when they opened, she walked through with peace.
For the mom feeling unseen and stuck in chaos, Abbie offers this wisdom:
Redefine success as obedience, not applause.
Practice contentment—your current season is not a punishment.
Build rhythms to bring peace, not pressure, to your day.
Let your kids in on the mission. Bring them along for the journey.
Use the time you have, not the time you wish you had.
“I had to realize that this proposal is getting in the way of mothering well—not the other way around.” —Abbie Halberstadt
A Gospel-Centered Reminder
Ultimately, Abbie reminds us that motherhood is holy ground. It’s where the gospel is preached not just through words, but through sacrifice, consistency, and love. You are seen by the One who matters most.
“Your faithfulness in the unseen moments is more precious in God’s sight than any kind of showingness ever could be.” —Abbie Halberstadt
Listen to This Episode If You:
Feel overwhelmed or unseen in motherhood
Struggle with your identity in this season
Need permission to slow down and be present
Want to be reminded that you are doing Kingdom work
Need a deep breath of gospel truth and practical encouragement
About Abbie Halberstadt
Melissa Ferguson is a bestselling author and creative storyteller who brings a warm-hearted, whimsical lens to both adult and Abbie Halberstadt is a wife, mother of ten, bestselling author, podcaster, and passionate advocate for biblical motherhood. Known to many as “M Is for Mama,” Abbie encourages women to reject culture’s low expectations of motherhood and embrace a Christ-centered, joy-filled approach to raising the next generation.
She’s the author of M Is for Mama, Hard Is Not the Same Thing as Bad, and her latest release, You Bet Your Stretch Marks—each filled with practical encouragement, biblical wisdom, and relatable stories from her own life as a homeschooling mom of many.
Abbie’s writing and speaking inspire women to live intentionally, love sacrificially, and lead their families with eternal purpose. Whether she’s sharing about identity, discipline, homemaking, or dreaming in motherhood, her voice is bold, honest, and grounded in faith.
You can connect with Abbie through:
🎙️ M Is for Mama Podcast
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HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???
Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere..
