Healing Through Community w/ Toni Collier
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On today’s episode…
What if healing wasn’t something you were meant to do alone? In this powerful conversation, Toni Collier joins Dr. Kelly Cagle to share how safe relationships, confessional community, and honest boundaries help us heal from life’s deepest wounds. From parenting after pain to rebuilding trust, this episode is a must-listen for anyone craving real connection and lasting healing.
Insights
Healing Isn’t Meant to Be Done Alone
Parenting IQ Podcast | Guest: Toni Collier
In this powerful episode, Dr. Kelly Cagle sits down with author, speaker, and founder of “Broken Crayons Still Color,” Toni Collier, to talk about the transformative power of healing through community. Toni opens up about her journey through two divorces, spiritual betrayal, motherhood, and what it truly means to be seen and supported in our most vulnerable seasons.
Why We Want to Hide—and Why We Shouldn’t
Toni shares honestly about how shame and betrayal often lead us into hiding. But isolation, she explains, only compounds pain. Her new book, Don’t Do This Alone, dives into why we feel the need to hide from our brokenness and how embracing authentic, safe relationships can lead to healing and restoration.
“We weren’t designed to carry our pain alone. The antidote to anxiety, depression, and shame often starts with opening up and refusing to isolate.” —Toni Collier
Building a Confessional Community
One of Toni’s most impactful tools for healing has been her “confessional community”—a small group of trusted friends who meet monthly to share, confess, and hold each other accountable. Toni offers a blueprint for building this kind of space: seek people who are willing to hold your truth without flinching, who love Jesus, and who have a moral compass and emotional maturity.
“There are people who won’t leave the room when you tell the truth. That kind of presence changes everything.” —Toni Collier
Parenting Through the Pain
As a mom to two kids—her “strong-willed blessing” Dylan and “danger baby” Sammy—Toni reflects on how healing herself has changed her parenting. She’s honest about how unresolved trauma affected her relationship with her daughter but also encourages listeners that healing is possible at any stage.
With humor and humility, Toni describes the difference between her parenting in the past and present, saying, “My son is living in the lap of luxury with this healed-up version of me!”
The Art of Friendship: Circles and Boundaries
Drawing from Jesus’ example, Toni teaches that we need different layers of friendships. Not everyone gets access to our deepest pain—and that’s okay. From gym buddies to soul sisters, knowing who belongs in which circle is key to protecting our emotional and spiritual wellbeing.
“Jesus had circles. He loved everyone, but only a few got to see him sweat blood in the garden. We need boundaries too.” —Toni Collier
Starting Small: A Practical First Step
For those burned by past friendships or unsure how to begin again, Toni offers a simple but powerful exercise: make a list of what you want and need in a friend. Define your needs, your communication preferences, and your boundaries. Clarity is kindness, she says—and a great foundation for trust.
This episode is a breath of fresh air for anyone walking through grief, betrayal, or relational exhaustion. Toni’s warmth, wisdom, and truth-telling will leave you encouraged, challenged, and inspired to seek out the kind of community that heals.
👉 Toni’s book “Don’t Do This Alone” is available now at tonijcollier.com
🎧 Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you stream.
About Toni Collier
Toni Collier is the founder of an international women's organization called Broken Crayons Still Color and helps women process through brokenness and get to healing and hope. Toni is a speaker, host of the Still Coloring podcast, and author of two books: Brave Enough to Be Broken and a children's book, Broken Crayons Still Color. Toni is teaching people all over the globe that you can be broken and still worthy or feel unqualified and still be called to do great things.
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HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???
Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere..
