How to Host Without the Pressure w/ Abby Kuykendall
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On today’s episode…
What if hospitality didn’t require a clean house or a flawless meal? Author and home host Abby Kuykendall joins Dr. Kelly Cagle to redefine what it means to invite people in. In this grace-filled conversation, you’ll learn how to release the pressure of perfection, embrace messy community, and model biblical hospitality for your kids. A must-listen for anyone who’s hesitated to open their front door.
Insights
Let the Biscuits Burn : How to Host Without the Pressure
A Conversation with Abby Kuykendall
If you’ve ever delayed inviting someone into your home because the dishes weren’t done, the house wasn’t spotless, or the biscuits weren’t Pinterest-perfect, you’re not alone. But this week’s Parenting IQ Podcast episode with author Abby Kuykendall reminds us of a powerful truth: hospitality has nothing to do with perfection and everything to do with presence.
In this refreshing conversation, Dr. Kelly Cagle and Abby discuss Abby’s latest book, Let the Biscuits Burn, a title born out of her heart to help people release the pressure to impress and instead lean into authentic connection. Having previously written a cookbook (The Living Table), Abby realized that while recipes are helpful, many women still felt intimidated by the idea of hosting. Her new message? Burn the biscuits—just don’t miss the moment.
The Difference Between Entertaining and Hospitality
Abby makes a powerful distinction:
Entertaining is about performance—showcasing the perfect home, the perfect meal, the perfect family.
Hospitality, on the other hand, is about people—creating a space where others feel seen, known, and loved.
She emphasizes that true hospitality is not about the food or the ambiance; it’s about soul care. When we stop obsessing over appearances and choose to invite others into our real, messy lives, we make space for deep relationships and God’s presence.
Why Messy Moments Matter Most
Through her own story of a cheese-filled tortellini disaster and a season of loneliness in her 20s, Abby shares how God used a simple, messy meal to build community. What began as a small, awkward dinner turned into a life-giving Bible study in her 600 sq. ft. apartment. Her message? God doesn’t need perfection—He just needs our obedience.
Even now, as Abby welcomes guests into her home during renovations—with mattresses in the kitchen and scaffolding in the living room—she models the kind of vulnerability that leads to deeper conversations and authentic friendship.
Teaching Kids the Heart of Hosting
As a mom herself, Abby encourages parents to bring their kids along in the process of hospitality—not as a chore, but as a joy.
From praying over the living room before guests arrive to assigning simple tasks like greeting guests or offering drinks, kids learn that they too can play a role in making others feel welcome.
The goal isn’t flawless execution; it’s building muscle memory for a lifetime of community-minded living.
Jesus + Biscuits
Throughout the episode, Dr. Kelly and Abby circle back to the spiritual depth of hospitality. It’s more than a social event; it’s a way of living out the Gospel.
Jesus called us to love God and love our neighbor—and sometimes, that looks like burned biscuits and loud kids and cluttered kitchens.
As Abby beautifully puts it: “God is not asking for perfect hosts—He’s asking for open doors and open hearts.”
Resources Mentioned:
Let the Biscuits Burn by Abby Kuykendall
The Living Table cookbook by Abby Kuykendall
(Both available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. Also available as an audiobook.)
Abby Kuykendall
Abby Turner Kuykendall is a writer, home cook, and founder of A Table Top Affair. After years of singleness and spiritual growth, she discovered the power of the table in building God-centered community. Her first cookbook, The Living Table, reflects that journey. Abby lives in northwest Arkansas with her husband, Kyle, and their son, John Maverick. Her next book, Let the Biscuits Burn, releases in September 2025.
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HEY THERE! I’M DR. CAGLE… DO YOU NEED HELP WITH CREATING GREAT HABITS???
Parenting is hard work. It requires tons of boundaries, daily consistency, so much awareness, as well as lots of patience, grace, wisdom, and filters. Combine that hefty list with all of life’s demands and others’ voice may become louder than yours in your child’s life, increasing their anxiety, fears, and doubts.
Healthy parenting is about seeing yourself as your child’s #1 teacher, saying the right words (or nothing at all) at the right time, and having the right tools to be intentional and impactful. Guessing your way through life, which is what most parents do, is a recipe for failure, but following the lead of someone who has two decades of research-based information and fully understands the demands of parenthood is a recipe for a full life— for you and your child.
With a PhD in education, I’m here to teach you how to use daily moments are learning opportunities so you raise confident and competent lifelong learners that thrive in an ever-changing world.
Additionally, I offer workshops and keynotes on various topics to parents, educators, students, and business leaders— because the need to understand, support, and empower learners is everywhere..
